Category Archives: Perinatal

The Link between Depression and Pain

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Depression and pain: two conditions that can cause a lot of misery. Those who suffer from one or the other can often feel that it’s a fight they can’t win...

Depression and pain: two conditions that can cause a lot of misery. Those who suffer from one or the other can often feel that it’s a fight they can’t win…

Depression and pain: two conditions that can cause a lot of misery. Those who suffer from one or the other can often feel that it’s a fight they can’t win, but understanding that there’s often a connection between the two can be half the battle. Here are five things you didn’t know about the link between depression and pain.

A COMMON CONNECTION

It’s important to understand that there can be a connection between pain and depression, although it’s not always the case. “It is common for people who experience consistent pain to develop symptoms of mild to moderate depression,” explains Jennifer Kimmelman, LMFT and Somatic Psychotherapist of Madison Marriage and Family Therapy, PC. “If pain intensifies and intrudes in an individual’s daily activities, symptoms can increase to severe depression.” But just as understanding the link between the two conditions is vital, it’s just as important to realize that you can have one without the other. “I have worked closely with people who have experienced persistent back pain which is felt throughout the leg, who continue to live healthy lives without depression,” says Kimmelman. “The pain is managed in a specific way and these individuals continue on with their daily activities.”

PHYSICAL PAIN CAN HAVE EMOTIONAL CONSEQUENCES

Although someone suffering from pain-related depression may not realize it at the time, it’s natural for an injury to have emotional as well as physical consequences. Someone who is deprived — due to an injury or illness — of their livelihood or an activity that brings them pleasure is likely to experience a host of symptoms, including depression. “The most common example I have worked with are dancers,” says Kimmelman. “I was a dancer myself who was injured and from my own experience, as well as other clients I have worked with. the symptoms are very similar, loss of identity, sadness and anger, frustration, irritability and eventually depression.”

… AND EMOTIONAL PAIN CAN HAVE PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCES

Intense feelings of anger or sadness, suicidal thoughts, an inability to get out of bed or out and about… these are all commonly recognized symptoms of depression. But many people don’t realize that pain can be a symptom of depression, too. “When a body experiences depression, any number of symptoms arise, including but not limited to, loss of energy, achy feeling all over, headaches, weight loss or weight gain which can both be painfully felt in the digestive system,” says Kimmelman. The physical toll that depression can take doesn’t stop there. “[Some of these symptoms] can lead to hormone imbalance, which can lead to a whole host of ailments, common colds, painful menstrual cycle for women, indigestion, low grade fevers, headaches.”

RECIPE FOR A CURE

Finding relief for symptoms of pain and depression may not be as straightforward as simply taking medication or seeing a therapist; rather, the cure for any given patient can come in varied forms of treatment. Seeking professional help is your first step; ways to find a therapist include asking friends for referrals and going through your healthcare provider. Your therapist can help you organize your approach towards managing both your depression and your pain and assist you in exploring the many forms of treatment that are out there, which “can range anywhere between pain management such as medication, to talk therapy, to somatic psychotherapy, massage and aromatherapy, meditation, yoga,” explains Kimmelman. “It all depends on the individual’s experience and how they organize and develop a relationship to their pain.”

DON’T LOSE HOPE

One of the symptoms of depression is a feeling of hopelessness that can keep sufferers from seeking help. But it’s so important not to lose your vision of a happier, healthier you — as well as your belief that you can fulfil this vision. Even just taking the first step towards healing can lessen your feelings of sadness (although if it doesn’t, that’s no reason not to forge ahead). Help is out there; the easing of your pain — both emotional and physical — is in sight. “There are options, and if one doesn’t suit you, we will find one that does,” says Kimmelman. “Because change is an inevitable part of life, we can hope that with change and time, what might not have worked in the past may work in the present and/or future.” And looking towards the future is your first step in winning a difficult — but not impossible — battle.

Louisa ColónLuisa Colón is a writer whose work has appeared in New York, Glamour, Discovery Girls, Mamiverse.com, and others.

Getting the Skinny on Your Pregnancy

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Blossoming Tree

“Becoming a mom means receiving and managing the unexpected.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Becoming a mom means receiving and managing the unexpected. Even the pregnancy could be unplanned. There are a few things we do expect once we know we are pregnant:

  • We will be nauseous.
  • We will have trouble breathing.
  • Our lives will never be the same.
  • Our lives will never be OUR lives again.
  • Our bodies will not belong to us for 4 months to 7 years, if you are breastfeeding.
  • Our bodies will “never” be the same again.

The last one, “Our bodies will never be the same again,” is the one thing most of us expect, unhappily. We dream our bodies will return to normal like those Hollywood stars displayed in the media. However, there are so many aspects that affect us: age, pre-pregnancy weight, weight gained in pregnancy, lifestyle, genetics, etc…

To have a body like our Hollywood inspirations, we need to be fiscally privileged. Our stars have the money to afford private chefs, private trainers, nannies, cleaners and everything else one would need to separate from your child long enough to ensure self care. The rest of us are running to work, passing our lovers like ships in the night, sleep deprived, stressed, distressed, depressed, anxious and everything else one would expect from not having the financial ability to ensure self care.

Recently, Glenn D. Braunstein, M.D., Chairman of the Department of Medicine at Cedars-Sinai, posted a article, “The Realistic Skinny on Moms, Pregnancy and Weight Gain,” on the Huffington Post. In this post he highlights Heidi Klum and her ability to return to Victoria Secret runway work just a few weeks after delivering her second child and again after her fourth.

Dr. Braunstein, used Heidi Klum as an expample of how we as women feel added pressure and shame to be perfect.  He reminds us that although none of us are perfect, nor should we force ourselves to be, we should be healthy.  Dr. Braunstein highlighted the importance the Medical establishment and we as a society play in reminding one another, gently and compassionately, what it means for us to maintain our physical self care.

He does not focus heavily on those of us that get chubby: over 50% of us gain more than we are “supposed to.” He is more concerned with the effects of being underweight and obesity has on our mothers, highlighting a major study of over obese 1,600 mothers.

Obesity and other maternal metabolic conditions not only affect the mothers, but our children as well. A study displayed an increased likelihood of mothers with metabolic conditions are more likely to have children with autism and twice as likely to have developmental delays.

Dr. Braunstein also highlights the dangers of mothers being underweight and therefore being unable to provide nutritionally for their developing child. If we are underweight we are likely to suffer anemia, perinatal mortality and have pre-term and or a low-birth-weight baby. Low-birth-weight babies weigh less than 5 lbs 6 oz and are at a greater risk to suffer neurodevelopmental and lower respiratory tract conditions.

As a mental health professional, I understand hearing about this from our doctor can give us the extra umph, but it might not make us drink the water of health. There is often a lot emotionally associated with weight and sometimes after many attempts we are disheartened and don’t know what to do. I have had many people near and dear to me choose to have surgery because of their weight. I have also been part of the group that had my own personal struggle with eating. Eating is good, it feels good, it provides, but everything needs to be balanced.

As moms-to-be or moms, it is our job to provide. This means providing for ourselves a healthy body that is created consciously and thoughtfully. If you are struggling with this and need some support here are a few good links of places to try:

Therapy:

Madison Marriage & Family Therapy, PC

Eating Disorder Hope

National Eating Disorder

Nutritionist:

Stacy Schulman, MS, RD, CDN

About the author

Melissa Kester, MA, LMFT, Founder and Director of Madison Marriage and Family Therapy, PC in New York City.  She has served on the NYS Division Board for AAMFTas Metro Chapter President and Student/Associate Representative.  Melissa has also been an adjunct instructor at Hunter College, teaching Graduate Students Family Systems Counseling.  She is the editor for Towards Healing.

A Mother’s Day NYC Event : Motherhood – The Role of Nurturing in Our Lives

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My mother succeeded in making me understand a great deal …
indeed I owe to her loving wisdom all that was bright and good in my long night.  ~ Helen Keller

Join us for May’s Healing Saturday:

 Mothering – The role of nurturing in our lives

 Being a mother requires a special type of skill, the ability to nurture.  This talent is not just possessed by women, but it is one that embodies the word, “Mother.”  It has become so closely linked with femininity that women who do not naturally nurture doubt themselves.  While men who are nurturers reduce themselves and are cautious to appear wimpy.  Yet, without nurturing we would be in a shadow world where people would not easily learn empathic skills.

As nurturer’s we may constantly struggle with boundaries, communication, schedules, etc…  We can feel eternally on and exhausted.  We all hear about mother’s working a full week, coming home cleaning, cooking and not understanding why their counterparts are  putting in the same energy.  Mother’s don’t seem to stop and are always thinking about what their children and lover’s need.  Yet, we are not all peaches and cream.  Mother’s work so hard they can build a level of resentment towards their partners and even towards their children.  The shadow side of nurturing.

This resentment is spearheaded by the challenge of setting boundaries.  Mother’s know they need more support, but challenged by asking for it.  It seems it always ends up in an argument.  It doesn’t really (or it doesn’t need to) but it does require a lot of commitment and work.  It is always hard to get help from people that are not used to assisting in certain ways.  It’s never fun taking on extra tasks.  However it gets harder when we are working, cleaning, caring, nurturing, seeking self care and then debating over who should do what.

So what do mother’s need:  

  • support
  •  self care
  •  patience
  • love
Not just on Mother’s Day, but everyday.

For this reason we present a special Mother’s Day Healing Saturday all about nurturing and motherhood.  This event is for mothers, lovers, and everyone who knows what it is like to nurture and be nurtured.

On a Saturday of every month,   Madison MFT joins forces with professional healers to share tips for your journey.  The best part is that this helpful healing doesn’t stop with you!  Your participation helps others: all proceeds are donated to a different charity each month.

Join Melissa Kester, LMFT and Sarah Lebeck-Jobe, MS as they lead a healing group discussion about the meaning of mothering and your role as a nurturer. Together we will celebrate, question, and cherish the multiple emotional and practical facets of motherhood:

  • What is motherhood?
  • How do we nurture others and ourselves?
  • What did you learn from your mother?
  • Do you have to be a mom to mother another living being?
  • Is the fantasy of being a mom different than the reality?
  • How has your concept of mothering influenced the way you live your life?
  • Ever wish you could push a button and stop being a mother for just one day?

Come join the discussion and receive practical tips about how to be nurturing to yourself! Please bring a photo or memento that symbolizes mothering or nurturing to you.

This month’s charity will be  Family Care International, the first international organization dedicated to maternal health, which endeavors to make pregnancy and childbirth safer around the world. We ask each individual to bring a donation of $25.00 for this charity.

Please RSVP due to Limited Space
What:  Healing Saturdays – a monthly charitable event at Madison MFT
Explore:  Motherhood
Helping:  Family Care International
When:  May 12th, 11am – 1pm
Fee:  Suggested donation of $25.00, all proceeds go to charity
RSVP:  info@madisonmft.com or 917.488.6364